Friday, January 18, 2013

An Introduction.

Here's the thing. Anyone who knows me (or at least sees the stuff I put on my Facebook) probably thinks I'm rather June Cleaver-esque (compared to the me a few years ago, especially), because I do actually enjoy cooking, doing a little baking occasionally, and SOME crafty things (I recently discovered I'm pretty good at making tulle wreaths--and I really like making them). The irony of my blog title is not lost on me. But, for the most part, I am definitely no June Cleaver.

I don't decorate cakes (although I probably would if I could--but I don't have the time or the expertise to do so), hell I'm not even a very good baker. I don't garden, I don't keep a spotless and immaculate household, I don't wear dresses or fancy clothes every day, I don't wear pearls all the time (although now that I think about it, I may start...), I'm not always happy with my husband or my children, and I am definitely not ladylike, mild mannered, soft spoken or even very polite. Dinners at my house are never a big, fancy affair--the only thing "big" about dinner time is the mess made by my kids or the scary, angry vein protruding from my neck. I have never really hosted a party, I've never been to a PTA meeting, and I don't bake cupcakes for my kids' classmates on birthdays or any other occasions (I prefer to buy them at the store and tell everyone they're homemade). I also suck at wrapping presents, although I can coordinate tissue paper with gift bags like it's nobody's business.

The four things I CAN bake (as far as things made from scratch) surprisingly well: blueberry muffins, cobbler (my favorite is blackberry), sugar cookies and brownies. I am actually a pretty good cook, and I do enjoy cooking, but I don't get to do it very often now that my husband works nights. There are even a handful of foods I make that I am actually extremely proud of and totally fine with bragging about: lasagna, burgers (my burgers are actually very popular, to the point that I refuse to share the recipe because, well, they're mine), salsa, pork tenderloin with cilantro pesto, and seafood chowder. My house may not be spotless, but I clean every single day and I try to at least keep it "neat." I love my husband and my children very much and I would honestly be lost without them (maybe a little more relaxed...but lost nonetheless).

I'm loud, hot tempered, often quite angry, and I cuss like a sailor. I prefer beer over wine any day of the week and I am a cigarette smoker who is constantly trying to quit and constantly failing to do so. I do enjoy dressing up and looking nice but I don't often have a reason to--cleaning and lounging around my house with grubby, sticky kids are definitely not reasons to look my best, in my opinion. Not that there's ever really time for lounging...

So, in case you still cannot tell the difference between the ultra feminine, polite, loving, wholesome matriarch of Leave It To Beaver and myself, I'll make it perfectly clear: this is DEFINITELY not June Cleaver's blog. There will be profanity, angry rants about kids misbehaving, sad pity-parties about the condition my body was left in after having children, woes about bills, husbands, pets, cleaning, etc., etc...

But, on a more positive note, there might also OCCASIONALLY be some recipes, some crafty type posts, some fun-with-the-family stories/pictures, and perhaps even some kind words (or at least humorous anecdotes) to uplift other tired and annoyed stay-at-home-mothers out there. So, enjoy, and don't say you weren't warned.

Question (and annoyance) of the day: Am I the only one who gets really annoyed reading posts on parenting sites/forums when people use those ridiculous DH, DS, etc., abbreviations?


  1. I have to think about those crazy abbreviations every time I read them. I don't always want to call them "dearest" either. (I may have even gotten that wrong.)

    1. It can be either dearest or darling. Both of which are stupid. As if you refer to your husband as your dearest or darling husband in normal, every day conversation. Most days there is nothing dear or darling about him, so why would I lie to people and say there is?!?! Ha ha ha.